It's Saturday so it sex day. In particular, I want to talk about sexual fantasy. The question being what relationship should sexual fantasy have in the Christian life. Is it sinful or is it one of those things that is sinful in only certain circumstances?
Matthew 5:28 -- lusting of course is sin, but at what point does fantasy --simple desire -- become -- lust -- the desire to possess a person's sexuality for ones self. And what do you do when the fantasy person is just that -- pure fantasy -- they do not actually exist.
Now the main problem is that when a person approaches the church about this subject the response is usually one of two things -- silence or counsel to repression. In either case the result is guilt followed by shame or disillusionment. The church is notoriously bad when it comes to this subject.
I believe there is distinction between lust and sexual fantasy, but the must be a way to distinguish between the two to keep things clear. The line can often get blurry. Lust is uncontrollable passion that causes a person not to look at the subject of that lust as a person but and object to be used. Sexual fantasy does not always lead to this -- many times it is the longing of persons heart for intimacy or attraction. They do not always lead to lust based on the above definition.
There is a positive function to sexual fantasy -- for the single person it allows one to keep reality at bay while letting the imagination loose in a boundary it can fit in. The problem is when that boundary is crossed you end up in lust. The positive function in marriage is to loose the imagination so you don't get bored. It enables a couple to keep things fresh. It is also of use when separated due to circumstances.
Sexual fantasy needs to be reflected upon not ignored -- the "why" question needs to be asked -- is this fantasy about longing like in the Song of Songs or is it something that has crossed the line. People seem to be embarrassed or don't see the value of reflecting on the "why" of their own sexual fantasies but there is great power here when we both reflect and pray about them so that we engage the question of where the line is with God's help. By reflection and prayer one may find the answer to victory over lust.
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